One aspect of my personal mantra for this year is Forgiveness, and let
me tell you; it’s changed my life! For so many year, practically my
entire life, I’ve held grudges or not truly forgiven people that have
hurt me in the past and that definitely takes a toll on your spirit,
happiness, and peace of mind. As much as I’ve tried to fight the notion
that “not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting them
to die”, I faced facts and accepted that to be true. Once I realized that I
needed to let go of the past and truly forgive, not just say it but
live in it too, my life became a millions times better. My spirt is more
calm and I definitely gained a peace of mind.
Today was definitely one of those type of days for me, a good bad day. Unfortunately, a not too favorable situation transpired in the beginning of my day and consequently it had me feeling not too hot first thing in the morning. As the day progressed the situation that had me down didn’t get too much better, but some how I managed to not let it consume me and allow some good in.
I work in an office and sit in close proximity to my co-workers, normally they can kind of tell when I’m having a bad day, but today they had no idea (as least until one of them asked me to try a Heart Beat app and my resting heart rate was 111 beats per minute!). I allowed myself to participate in the office discussions, which led to a few laughs, and I even went to lunch with my co-workers despite my ordeal. Granted, I had to force myself to eat because I normally lose my appetite when I am not cheerful, but I did it and ate half of my lunch! During the remainder of the afternoon I received a few pieces of good news, wonderful news actually, and I was quite grateful! Not leading my day with my emotions allowed other nice things to have the opportunity to come into life and I didn’t feel undeserving of them. Usually, if my day isn’t going good I shut out everything and everyone until who or what made me upset corrects it. However, I have realized that that doesn’t do any good and I allow someone or something other than myself to affect my happiness, which is quite detrimental.
By the end of the work day, even with all the good things happening I was still a little down about the situation from the beginning of my morning and with no immediate way to resolve that situation, I decided to relate my feelings to music. As I stepped foot into my car, I put my iPod on shuffle, hoping to find something to help me cope.
After putting my iPod on, I just drove, even with these gas prices, I just needed something to ease my mind. Skipping through about 150 songs or so, there were 3 songs that stood out and really helped me to make me feel better. One song it particular song, and actually the song that made me feel okay to come home with the strength to interact with my family, was “Breathe” by Lalah Hathaway. “Just breathe…”, I needed to hear those words bad and also the message in her song…
Some good neosoul always does the mind, body, and soul some good and “you gotta believe that this ain’t the end of the road”!